Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a silent war that affects the day to day life of around one in five returned soldiers.

A veteran of multiple deployments with both the army and the Australian Federal Police, Nicholas Hodge knows all too well the debilitating effect it has on every aspect of his life.

“I learnt a lot from other cultures, and I learnt a lot about myself,” he says as he recounts about his rise through the ranks.

“I got promoted very quickly within the Federal Police and I was pretty much in the hot seat straight away so I’m pretty grateful for that experience.”

Now returned from his service, Nicholas and his wife Megan are finding strength through programs like Soldier On, which helps to rehabilitate soldiers and their families back into society. 

“My new job now is to look after myself and my family. I sincerely believe in what Soldier On advocates, which is to empower, inspire and encourage,” he said.

“My wife has been significant...I don’t know where I’d be without her actually.”

It’s a long road to recovery for Nicholas, who is still learning how to deal with the rigours of everyday life.

“It’s my first Anzac Day being sober and to actually feel the feelings of rawness without being drunk, I’ve realised that Anzac Day for me is a mass memorial service for human destruction,” he said.
“I ended up getting quite a few flash backs, the paramedics came, I was suffering from a psychotic episode and started shaking.”

The couple had the experience of meeting St Kilda players before a match this year as part of the alignment the Saints have with charity partner Soldier On.

Megan said the pair is focused on building towards a healthy future.

“I think it’s really important that they’re trying to get our vets engaged back into the community and into activities based programs…It’s a dangerous place mental health-wise for our soldiers to be,” Megan said.

“We’re removed from it (as a society), and they are affected and they’re affected for the rest of their lives for the things that they do for us, and for our country.”

Following his service, Nicholas was diagnosed with PTSD and has suffered from depression, anxiety and some other psychological affects of war, mainly the result of his operational service as an Infantry Soldier to East Timor 1999 – 2000.

Nick was instrumental in helping to set up the Canberra Reintegration and Recovery Centre, volunteering his time to help have it ready for its launch in February. He has also undertaken training with the charity in mental first aid and recently moved to Melbourne where he acts as a Soldier On wounded ambassador.

“I think it’s really important the community of Australia know, apart from veterans, it’s very important for the families and especially our partners to be heard because they’re given a little opportunity right now, but not much.”