Ben Paton still remembers the shock of looking down at his mangled left leg, both bones snapped clean, as he lay in a twisted heap in the back pocket of RSEA Park. 

It’s just over a year since the unsung defender – who had come from the clouds to chart a career-best year in 2020 – suffered the horrific double leg break in an accidental tackle during a routine match simulation. 

It was a devastating blow the Saints never anticipated. Despite his place in the defensive half being filled by the rejuvenated Jimmy Webster in 2021, Paton’s on-field impact was dearly missed.

“I remember sort of looking and you see your legs going the other way, both the tib and fib pointing at a 90-degree angle, it wasn’t good,” Paton recalled on the Sounds of the Saints podcast.

“It’s more the shock at first that gets you. After a minute or so you come to terms with it a little bit.

“Probably the few weeks after that, it's still sort of taking it all in and then realising what's actually happened, the severity of the injury and how long you're going to miss... you can play all the scenarios over in your head.”

Paton had a titanium rod inserted into his leg to help his tibia and fibula knit back together, along with a metal bolt through his ankle to prevent any lower leg movement.

Confined to a moonboot and forced to hobble around on crutches for the next few months, Paton couldn’t help but feel doubt start to creep in.

“I couldn't walk for eight weeks. I was like 'am I going to walk again? Am I going to be able to play footy again?',” Paton said.

“It's natural to think that though. You've just got to accept that you're going to have the good days, you're going to have the bad days.”

As is often the case with the long-term nature of these injuries, it was the “little things” along the way which helped Paton’s mental “release” during the lower points.

The 23-year-old picked up additional units for his commerce degree at Australian Catholic University, was granted permission by the club to spend time in Cairns and his family farm in Mitta Mitta when restrictions allowed and – after several months – finally returned to the golfing green a few months later.

Even Bulldogs Mitch Wallis and Dale Morris, along with Brownlow medallist Tom Mitchell reached out to the sidelined Saint to offer their support and help lay out the tedious roadmap back to normal.

“I guess it became about finding the positives in the negatives,” Paton said.

“Being able to walk, that was like a tick of the box, being able to do that first run, tick of the box, being able to first train with the group, tick of the box.

“Just those little milestones keep you motivated and you've got to look at the bigger picture.”

Now, after a hellish year on the sidelines, Paton is in the thick of pre-season action as he barrels towards his long-awaited return to AFL footy.

Paton was still taking part in contact-free training blocks pre-Christmas, but post-Christmas has been let off the leash.

While cruel luck again struck St Kilda’s stocks courtesy of a season-ending knee injury to Nick Coffield last week, Brett Ratten’s side is on track to regain Paton for 2022.

And after almost a year away from the action, he’s “guns blazing” for a return.

“You want to play as much footy as you can. I definitely want to play Round 1,” Paton said.

 “The leg feels 100 per cent, so it’s all good to for the season ahead. Obviously I’ve got to train well and get picked but I'll definitely be putting my hand up for that.”